Pro tip: bring a surgical glove at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Ibrought Purell, took all four rings off of my right hand, and removed my Whoop sleep tracker from my right wrist at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Yesterday, at three o’clock in the afternoon—a whole damn day before the official theatrical release of Dune: Part Two—I was ready to (for science!) eat exclusively from the Dune popcorn bucket for all 162 minutes of the film’s runtime. If you haven’t yet beheld the viral vessel, it’s a rubbery recreation of the front (face? mouth? butthole?!) of an Arrakian sandworm, which you must reach into in order to retrieve popcorn. It’s sort of like a tentacled suction cup for your hand. I headed into AMC Lincoln Square, expecting a greasy adventure for a solid forty percent of my right arm at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
And what about it? The theater’s dreadful bucket ran out. (You all, Sickos.) Absurd! I’ll tell you what, though: I felt a bit relieved. Rather than using a rubbery wormhole to get around it, I devoured a whole huge popcorn in one go with the old-fashioned method: fistfuls directly to mouth. Luckily, Esquire’s Senior Market Editor, Alfonso Fernandez Navas, attended the movie on Wednesday and was able to see the (what I’m learning is uncommon!) Duneussy, as he refers to it in the review I had him record afterwards. His ideas at Dune are as follows: Section II: We Examined the Sandworm Popcorn Jar (Science):
A 10/10 was unexpected. I want to say that I would’ve had a pretty bad time overall eating out of the Dune bucket, but it’s hard to say for sure. It certainly would have slowed me down—and I don’t think I would have finished a quarter of my popcorn during the previews. (Which I did.) So it gets points for extending the lifespan of your popcorn, which is a pretty important spec, considering the movie’s nearly three-hour-long runtime. The Duneussy could very well prevent you from needing a second snack run and missing part of the film, if your bladder hasn’t already betrayed you at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
The mess-prevention factor is worth noting as well, though I personally have zero problem with eating a few stray popcorn kernels off of my shirt throughout a film if need be. I feel like the sensation of coating my entire hand and forearm—once I got so deep into my popcorn that I had to start digging for more—would probably cancel out any cleanliness bonus that the souvenir provides with its small opening at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.). What if I wanted to take a break from the popcorn to sip my drink, eat some candy, or just rest my arm? Would I get grease everywhere?! I also was wearing a thick sweater yesterday, which I would’ve theoretically had to remove (leaving me in a tank top like Alfonso, and I would’ve probably been cold) or push up my sleeve to the point where I’d cease blood flow in my right arm. If you do go to the theater with hopes of securing the Dune popcorn bucket, just wear a T-shirt. And maybe bring a surgical glove at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Eating from a rubber sandworm probably has other benefits to the senses. If you’re the type of person who likes to play with toys that resemble fidget spinners, the rubbery wormhole will keep your hands busy during the film, even after you’ve finished your popcorn at Dune. Part Two: A review was conducted on the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket (for science). But proceed with caution. Don’t push yourself too much. It would have been unsettling if the person sitting next to me had started fisting their popcorn bucket repeatedly, even if they were only innocently indulging in the sensation of the soft bristles on their hand.
For anything beyond that? You could very well get arrested. I would recommend you just take the bucket home and do whatever you want with it there. Just… don’t list it on eBay afterward. Please at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).